Inspired by forthcoming home of shit online marketing articles, shitbound.org, I’ve been having some fun searching Google for what might politely be called SEO standards. You know, “What licking my own elbow taught me about SEO” or “How SEO is Like Making Scrambled Eggs on Toast”. You are welcome to both of those ideas.
“What [insert random topic] taught me about SEO”
I’ve not necessarily read all of these articles, some of them might actually be good. They all have somewhat entertaining titles though.
Whitney, they say her biggest hit was her last one. So what did the troubled singer teach the writer of that article about SEO? Basically, nothing. I’ve had the displeasure of reading this article and all I think is why does it hurt so bad?
This article is in 3 (three) parts. I bet you are intrigued…
That there’s more money in SEO?
That it’s easy to be The Boss? gedditt??
These two come as a set, I think.
I’m almost tempted to look at these slides.
I have a sneaking suspicion that I might be missing out by not reading this. You’d have to be confident of your content to give such an off-putting title, right?
So that’s “What [fill the blank] taught me about SEO” covered in all its glory. What next?
“How SEO is like [add term which is nothing like SEO]“?
Yes, how indeed, you may ask? Plan it, build it, maintain it, basically. But wait, from the writer who brought you “How SEO is Like Construction”, here’s…
How? Training (learning SEO), thinking long term and keeping going. Inspiring stuff.
Taking his own advice, the same writer noticed how…
Keep it natural and monitor your results apparently.
401K is American for pension. I think this one is saying diversify your investments/links.
I couldn’t bear to actually read it. Sorry, I’m a bad blogger.
It isn’t really.
Come on, this is getting silly now.
Full of flatpack furniture and meatballs? Probably not.
Incredibly, it gets worse…
Words fail me.
Roller derby is butch girls pretending they’re in the movie Rollerball
But I didn’t have a child at high school, honest!
Actually, I just made that one up.
Well if you got this far, I’m sorry but that’s a few minutes of your life you’ll never get back. Thanks for sticking with it.
If you bothered to read the ones that I obviously didn’t and found them useful or especially if you found anything even funnier in the actual article, please comment below.